Setting boundaries may not be easy, but it’s absolutely essential for a healthy, happy life. In fact, our boundaries are a direct consequence of self-respect, self-care and a reflection of our values.
Often, we let others overstep our boundaries out of fear of rejection, confrontation or guilt, which in turn leads to pain, frustration and anger – experienced by both parties.
Setting and maintaining boundaries is a process that takes practice and patience. We are only responsible for ourselves and cannot do much about other people’s reaction to our requests.
And trust me, people will try to resist, challenge and sabotage the change you’re introducing. They’ll get demanding, irritated and forceful, as soon as you try to move away from the status quo.
When we try to do things differently, ground ourselves in new, healthier habits, our friends and family might disregard and criticise our attempts and, if we’re not consistent, they will decide that our boundaries are meaningless.
After realising that my life was lacking even the most basic boundaries, I’ve decided to change that. Is it egoist? Absolutely. Personal boundaries are a way to teach people who we are and how we would like to be treated.
Good personal boundaries – based on our beliefs, feelings and intuitions – protect us. They make good relationships great. They’re liberating, rather than limiting. They help us feel appreciated and appreciative, respected and respectful.
It definitely won’t be easy at first – deciding where we draw the line is a difficult task. Here are the top 5 learnings that are helping me along the way:
1. Healthy people understand your need to set boundaries. Only toxic people argue.
2. There is no way to set boundaries without hurting some feelings in the process.
3. Other people are going to push your boundaries. Sty strong and don’t back down.
4. When you’re firm in your boundaries, others have no choice but to respect them.
5. Sometimes it’s going to be painful for you, too.
I hope you enjoyed this post. Now, I want to hear from you. Please, share your comments, thoughts, links, ideas, opinions and beyond. I promise to write back to each and every one.