“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
For years, I have struggled with the idea of uncertainty: fearing the unknown, dismissing the unpredictable, refusing to just let go. I was building my illusion of happiness upon a specific outcome that, ultimately, I had no control over.
Naturally, things didn’t go according to my plans and, instead of spending my life in Italy married to the man whom I thought I’d grow old with, I found myself moving to Amsterdam, the city which I now call my home.
This new chapter has been far from easy, yet surprisingly fulfilling. I’ve gotten to know myself better than ever before, I’ve proven myself capable of things I didn’t think I could have done on my own – and enjoyed every step of the way.
I thought I had my life all figured out and under control (yet again) until my recent trip to Porto, that is. That’s when I realised things might change – or rather, they most likely will – and that I’m not afraid of the unknown anymore.
On the contrary, I now find myself curious of what the next chapter of my story will be, looking forward to unfolding it with an open mind and heart, one day at the time, ready to discover where life will lead me to next.
Porto reminded me why I had moved to Italy in the first place, over 10 years ago. The people, the colours, the smells, the slow-paced life that allows you to sit down under an olive tree with a glass of wine on a Monday night.
I want to see more, taste more, feel more. I want to take my chances, let myself be guided by my intuition, take crazy leaps of faith. I’m in no rush to do so, arming myself with patience for when the time is right, confident that I’ll be ready.