I grew up in the belief that self-sufficiency is key to success. From my understanding, anything can be achieved through hard work – especially if it’s done on one’s own. For years, I have idealised the idea of autonomy, instilling unrealistic expectations of achieving all my goals solo.
I saw accepting help as a sign of weakness, dependency and ignorance – how could I let someone fix my problems? That was my job. I was afraid to give away my power, admit my shortcomings, expose myself to opinions and judgement, accept the possibility of failure and of being seen as one.
I was guided by fear. Fear of appearing too needy. Fear of imposing. Fear of over-stepping a friendship. Fear of revealing my struggle and having people realise I don’t have it all together after all.
So, as I’m learning to shift my perception and slowly form a new, more nurturing belief about accepting help, here’s what helped me:
- Dependence → Connection
By refusing to accept help, we disregard the fact that we are in fact social beings who need to cooperate with one another in order to thrive.
- Weakness→ Strength
Recognising, accepting and celebrating our strengths is crucial. When we’re aware of our positive characteristics, being judged hurts less.
- Exposure → Vulnerability
Being vulnerable is hard and takes courage. It’s important to choose wisely with whom we exercise vulnerability and applaud our efforts.
- Expectations → Reality
By noticing our unrealistic ideals, we can modify our expectations and neutralise the self-limiting beliefs with new, positive patterns.
- Isolation → Trust
Some people do act out of pure kindness. Let’s stop focusing on the negative and trust that we’re worthy and capable of making wise decisions.
Does this sound familiar? Have you ever experienced doubts or difficulties with accepting help? Please, share your story in the comments section below.