Flying Solo

“When a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier.”

Diane Von Furstenberg

I’ve always been fascinated by fearless women. Emancipated and empowered, irreverent and independent, needing no man’s approval, but fiercely walking to the beat of their own drum.

I’ve been studying theirs stories for as long I can remember – from memoirs to movies – trying to understand how they lived their lives, or rather, how they singlehandedly created them. Was it something I could learn and achieve, too?

What I soon found out is that none of these fantastic women ever surrendered to the circumstances. They questioned the status quo, forged their own rules. They took their chances and weren’t afraid of failure.

“Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn.” In a recent conversation, a friend reminded me about this mantra. An incredible woman herself, she encouraged me to shift my attention from past setbacks to possible next steps. Needless to say, she was right.

That’s when I realized how transformative this year has been. I feel I have finally stopped looking over my shoulder, checking what I could have done better, or looking forward, in an anxious anticipation of the next big thing. 

I’ve stopped cancelling plans, postponing trips, skipping events, simply because nobody’s joining. I’m slowly becoming the woman I wanted to be – living my own truth, listening to my own advice. With incredible results.

To my own surprise, I discovered that I genuinely love traveling solo, taking myself out for dinner, trying new sports classes. Museums and movies? No problem. Concerts and cocktail bars are still a bit challenging, but I’m sure that will change, too.

Admittedly, the transformation has taken a bit longer than I would have liked. I probably missed plenty of great opportunities. Ty my excuse, a recent study showed a lot of people dislike doing things alone.

The reason? They’re afraid others will judge them and assume they are alone because they have no friends. This is exactly the opposite of what I think, when I see someone in a solo situation.

I think they’re confident and adventurous, even worldly. I’m particularly impressed if they’re not hiding behind a phone or a book. They strike me as cool, calm and collected – definitely not lonely.

And, although I’m still not quite able to associate myself with all these positive adjectives, I feel that a whole new world has opened up. Now, when I make a reservation for one, I feel truly fantastic about it.

In fact, at this point, I feel pretty unstoppable. I feel like sky is the limit and that the journey has just begun. Most importantly, I’m looking forward to singlehandedly writing the next chapter of my story. 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Manfred says:

    Thank you for sharing so openly how flying solo is for you. Sounds like your are out of your comfort zone at times and you notice your growth.

    This piece came to my mind while reading your article:
    How to be alone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

    Thank you so much.

    Like

    1. “If you’re happy in your head, then solitude is blessed and alone is ok.” Thank you for sharing your comment and the video, Manfred! And of course, it is outside of your comfort zone, where the true magic happens, isn’t it?

      Like

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